And then things got really exciting (in a maybe I mean the opposite of that kind of way), because we were planning to stay safe at home away from the craziness of crowded theme parks all week...but then Facebook told us that they are having Wednesdays with Walt today, and we're having a very difficult time not going. That being the case, we'll be heading out to the park in a little while, and maybe collapsing all day tomorrow, which we guess makes sense, since it's a holiday. We so were not planning to actually take the day off tomorrow. Weird how that stuff works out sometimes.
But before we go, we have some time, and this came across our Facebook feed, so I figured why not talk about it? It's a Buzzfeed list of "13 Minor Disney Characters Who Are Actually Monsters." There are a couple we agree with, like Mad Madam Mim (although that's mostly because she's in more of a minor movie than because she has a minor role in it--but to be fair, it's hard to say anyone has a major role in that movie except for Wart, Merlin, and Archimedes) and especially the mermaids from Peter Pan, but there are a lot we disagree with. So let's go in order.
1.Lucifer. He's really like the main villain of that movie. He has a bigger role than Anastasia and Drizella, possibly combined. We do agree that people don't seem to realize what a monster he is--we had an idea for a Cinderella cosplay group, but Gaston nixed it. He would have been the cat, and we got the impression that he didn't want to be such a "minor" character. But if you actually watch Cinderella, you'll see that the movie kind of has two major conflicts going on: Cinderella vs. the Tremaines, and the mice vs. Lucifer. I think the screentime is fairly evenly divided between those two conflicts, but if it's not, my guess would be that we see more of the animals than the human characters.
2.The owner of the 7 Dwarfs' jewel mine. Athena and I got the impression that the dwarfs are self-employed; in other words, they own the mine. They mine jewels not because they need to, but because they want to. Our evidence includes the lack of any kind of taskmaster (if anything, Doc was the taskmaster, and he's kind of a pushover), and the line in Heigh Ho "to dig dig dig dig dig dig dig is what we like to do."
3&4 were Mad Madam Mim and the Walrus from Alice in Wonderland. No arguments there. (Though, in the Walrus's defense, people do eat lamb and veal, and let's not even get started on abortion.)
5.The woman from "One Jump Ahead" in Aladdin. Yeah, we can agree with that one.
6.Thumper. Misogynist, yes, at first, but then see how he's putty in the hands of the first female rabbit he comes across after puberty.
7.The egg-seller in Beauty and the Beast. The article writer talks about him refusing to sell eggs to a woman with about a million kids, and how any merciful person would have offered a payment plan. First of all, debt is rarely truly merciful. Second of all, the accusations are false! There is no indication of the man selling or not selling eggs, one way or the other. The lines of the song go "I need six eggs!" "That's too expensive!", but after the eggs line, it cuts away and it's a completely different dude saying that something else is too expensive.
If you really want an obscure scary monster from Beauty and the Beast, though, try the man-eating treasure chest during the battle at Beast's castle. I mean, the footstool tells us that not all the enchanted objects were humans originally, so it's possible that the chest was originally some sort of defense animal, like a more vicious dog or something, and that would make it less horrific, but still--it eats people!
8.Jim Dear. Another false accusation! Jim Dear isn't the one who threw Lady outside the house--after the baby was born, they took care of her just as well as ever. It was Aunt Sarah who banished Lady from the house, and that was because of more false accusations brought about by Sarah's cats, who should be on this list if Lucifer is. (Athena points out that there is a scene where Lady is sad about being treated a little more coldly before the baby was born, but once again, it was not Jim Dear who caused the problem. Lady wanted to play with Darling, who shooed her away because she was knitting something, probably for the baby.)
9.Flounder. Really? Poor little Flounder, who only ever wanted to be a good friend? Okay, yeah, he accidentally told Triton that *gaspies* Ariel went to the surface again (it's really the kind of behavior Triton should have come to expect (and probably did) by now). The real trouble--Triton destroying Ariel's stuff--came when Sebastian accidentally let some information slip.
10.Rafiki. If you want to get on Rafiki's case for holding babies over ridiculously high cliffs, I can't really argue with you on that, but his other crime was encouraging someone to go out and reach his full potential and be something great.
11.Meeko. On this one it seems like the writer just has something against raccoons. If we were writing it, we could have put Percy on the list because he's in the oppressive nobility and pugs are ugly.
12.Flora. Well, it's true I've been wondering how she seems to have won the debate once and for all over whether the dress should be pink or blue, and it does almost seem like there was some foul play...
13.The mermaids from Peter Pan. 100% absolute agreement.
And there's our two cents. Or more than two cents. It's really hard to tell how to price these things. I always thought the two cents thing came from tipping bad waiters--you leave two pennies because one might have been an accident, and no tip would mean that you're just a non-tipping jerk. So...I don't know.
Today I'm thankful for finishing our work early, having plenty of time to go to Wednesdays with Walt (unless it turns out to already be full because it's a holiday and for some reason people can't stay away on the holidays even though they know full well that the crowds are going to be ridiculous), the hope of finally being able to start on that one new title we've been waiting to start on, Page mostly being good about staying off the computer, and being all caught up on our anime.