Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena
double_dear

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Geekery

We watched to Ace Attorney movie last night! But I'm not going to review it now, because I'm not done talking about Disneyland!


Skipping ahead to Star Tours. We got in the standby line, because one of our goals this trip was to not use fast passes. It was kind of an unspoken goal, but a goal nonetheless. It failed, though, because we didn't feel like waiting a whole hour to ride Space Mountain. That's part of why we were back in Tomorrowland anyway--to use our fast passes. The other part was dinner. And the other part was to watch Captain EO, because we like its 80's cheesiness. But anyway, I was skipping ahead to Star Tours.

So we're waiting in line, and the kid in front of us noticed us and was like, "Hey, you're twins!" And we were like, "Yup!" I guess we seemed really friendly or something, because he kept talking to us through the whole line. It was really cute, because he was like, "Have you seen Star Wars?" Internally, I was like, "Who hasn't seen Star Wars?" (We actually know a few people, but they refuse to watch it out of spite, so they don't count.) But he was cute like a puppy, and so excited, so I just said, "Yup!" Then he asked if I could name all the planets in the Star Wars universe, and went on to list all the ones he could think of. Then he ran out of planets, so he asked if I could name all the vehicles. I got to show off a little, because I knew AT-ATs, but again, I'm kind of like, "Who doesn't know AT-ATs? They have their own theme music!" With five grand pianos, if I'm remembering right (which I very well might not be).

Anyway, he only got away with being such a know-it-all because he couldn't have been older than fifteen. And he was enthusiastic, and you always get points for enthusiasm in my book (important note: you don't always win with enthusiasm points). It kind of reminded me of when we were his age, and we would talk our Young Women's leaders' ears off with obscure knowledge of...probably Disney movies mostly, but also Sailor Moon, Muppets, and, in fact, Star Wars. I had to laugh a little (inwardly) when Indiana Jones got brought up for some reason (we think Athena was talking about the ride), and the kid immediately picked up on it and informed us that Indy and Han Solo are played by the same actor! Awww. As she listened to him, Athena thought, "This kid has a promising future at Comic Con." And as we sat down on the ride, he asks, "Have you ever been to Comic Con?" We told him yes and that he would love it.

And if he ever finds this post, he's going to be so embarrassed. Sorry, kid! You're just too adorable!

Later, we went on the Jungle Cruise. I was really worried about it, because sometimes I freak out too much about whether or not we're making the right decision, and we walked past Pirates, so I thought, "Wait, the line's really short; maybe we should go on Pirates instead!" but we only had time for one ride before Fantasmic!, and we'd already been on Pirates that day, but still, the line was so short... We kept our resolve, though, and it turned out to be a really good thing, because we had a great captain on that cruise.

And now, speaking of people who go on and on and on about things the people around them may or may not care about, I present an analysis of Jungle Cruise humor.

It started out fairly normal. He told everybody to wave at the dock, like all the captains/skippers do, but he also said, "Okay, now wave at the people, too, if that's your thing." That was pretty funny, but it sounded familiar, so it was too early to tell what kind of a skipper he'd be. It's usually the time from leaving the dock to getting past the tiger that will tell you how good the cruise is going to be.

He went with "five days and seven nights" for the length of the cruise, which I always like, because the math sounds like it might work if you leave and come back at night, but it doesn't.

We went by the Indiana Jones ride, and the skipper commented, "I don't see what the big deal is. You wait in a long line and end up in ruins." Points for the pun, but most of the Indiana Jones jokes are different, so nothing really special, but he was showing some good energy, and that's really the key. Anyway, after a pause for people to get the joke, he said, "Big deal, we have ruins right here!" And then he started talking about the tiger, which I'd say is the real test, but it's not, really, because it's my favorite joke, so I'm gonna like it pretty much any time. But then he said, "We're only twenty feet away, so he'll miss us by five feet." We were like, "Hrrm," and also like, "'Jump right over us'! Come on! That's the best joke, and you did it wrong!" But then he went on to talk about how tigers aren't good at math, so that kind of made up for it. And he still had good energy.

Then we were at the elephant bathing pool, and he started talking about Bertha, who's been in the show so long, she's all wrinkled. But he told it like this, "Everyone says she's so wrinkled because she's been in the shower for so long, but come on. Some of those are natural. Bertha doesn't iron." And that was just so funny that we decided he was one of the best skippers we'd had in a long time. When we past by the ransacked camped, he said we'd just keep going; he was opposed to gorilla warfare. Bwahaha.

We passed by Schweitzer Falls, which we remembered from the day before, when our skipper told us that more water goes over the falls in five minutes (I think that was the time frame, but I'm only just now learning that if there is a real Schweitzer Falls, it's not important enough to be on Wikipedia) than a man can drink in an entire lifetime. This tour guide went on to add that many men have tried, but most choke under the pressure. He probably said some more stuff, because his comedic style was a rambling one, but we're having a tough time remembering all of it, much to our dismay.

When we passed by the African bull elephant, he rambled on about how rare they are, and it's extremely unusual to ever see even one, so as we got close to the second African bull elephant he said, "And to your right, you'll see...absolutely nothing!" He even turned off the lights to facilitate seeing nothing, as it was night at this point. He didn't fire any blanks from his gun when we got to the hippos--he just made it click, and said, "Oh, they're afraid of clicking! Good! Let's go while they're distracted!"

He had tweaked the joke about the rhino getting his point across, but we don't remember how! Argh! Oh well. When we went through headhunter territory, he was one of the guys who said, "Let me see if I can translate. ...Nope." But he had something funny and yet wrong to say about the local arts and crafts (a pile of skulls), but again, we fail to remember what it was.

But speaking of headhunter territory! Our previous skipper had a funny bit. He said something in a language he made up, and then translated his conversation with the headhunters. They said they'd give us three chickens for the little girl in the pink shirt. He said no way, she's too cute! We demand five chickens! Oops, they don't like the deal! It's an ambush! And then we were ambushed, as usual.

Sadly, the only other thing we remember about this other skipper we were talking about is his headhunting humor at the end, with Trader Sam. He started the joke like usual, "He's got a sale going on! Two of his heads for just one of yours! Either way you slice it, you always come out a head." Then he went on, "Some guys'd charge an arm and a leg for that kind of thing. That's a real drag. What's worse is when they take both arms and legs and treat you like a doormat."

And so we left the Jungle Cruise happy and went to see Fantasmic! again, because it's the best. Only this time it wasn't quite so good, because we were farther away and had tall people standing in front of us. But these things happen. After the show, we decided we were tired and ready to leave, so it was off for some end-of-the-trip shopping on Main Street. We bought some fancy popcorn (cheddar, kettle, and chocolate caramel), and then shopped around some more. Technically we were supposed to be looking for a birthday gift for our nephew, but we still have a hard time shopping for him, so we ended up not buying anything.

What we did end up doing was having a nice long chat with the cast member working the pin section. (We also bought pins for people.) We found a runDisney 2012 pin, and thought it would be great to get one each for Celeste and Sarah, but we couldn't find where the one pin had come from, so I had to ask the cast member. But I was tired and my whole sense of movement had been thrown off by trying to navigate crowds, so I ended up kind of materializing in front of her face. So I had to apologize, and then we just talked and talked and talked.

It was great, because we were finally able to say, "We're so mad at Disneyland for raising admission prices!" and have someone say, "I know, right!" So we talked about that some and found out that apparently the prices were raised after considering how much people pay for season passes to sporting event type things, which apparently is still significantly higher. And that just adds to our list of unfair reasons for disliking sports. And when we talked about them closing the park at eleven during the week, she was like, "Yeah, we don't know why they did that, either."

Alex (the cast member's new codename) also gave us some information about how everything was on Leap Day--y'know, when they kept the park open for 24 hours. And Gaston wanted to go, and we were like, "Are you crazy?" and he was like, "But they won't have the stamina to stay all 24 hours! It'll be deserted at three in the morning." Fortunately we didn't end up staying all day that day, and now we could find out how things really were at three in the morning. Apparently, the status was "full to capacity," which is especially impressive, because they raised capacity by like 20,000. At five in the morning, all the lines were two hours long. Alex told us that some people started the day in Florida, then hopped on planes to finish it out in California. She said the manager she talked to was astounded by how crowded it was, and we were like, "We're not. Because we know how fans work."

We also talked about Disney sequels and how good or not good they are, and about how Tinkerbell's new sister Periwinkle has to run off with Terence in order to maintain continuity with Disney's original Peter Pan...or any original Peter Pan, for that matter. And it was just a good time.

The next day, it was time to go back home. We'd had a great time, but we were exhausted, so we were pretty happy. When we got to the train station, there was a guy there waiting, who we later found out was probably waiting for them to find his missing luggage, which had his passport. We thought maybe he was Japanese, and that we should talk to him to see if we could help, or at least give him some company as he was stranded in a foreign country without a passport...but we failed. We really need to get over our shyness.

We weren't total failures, though, because...there was an incident on the train. Apparently the guy in charge that day was really pushing for enforcing the "sets of four seats facing each other are reserved for families" thing. It would seem he's bothered by the fact that people can't read signs that are placed above eye-level. We were completely unaware of this when we boarded the train, which started to move almost as soon as we were up the stairs and on the second level (first-level seating is reserved for people who are unable to climb stairs). There was an empty set of four seats right in front of us, and the train was moving, so we sat down. Athena bonked her head on the luggage rack where the reserved sign was, but still did not see the sign.

Along came a conductor, who kindly told us that we would have to move; those seats were reserved. We apologized as he took our tickets anyway, and we were totally going to move, but he told us to wait where we were, because a set of two seats was going to open up soon. So we waited, feeling a bit nervous, and eventually he came back with another woman and said, "Meet your new family!" So she left her purse with us, and we continued to sit there while she went to the cafe car.

Meanwhile, there was another girl walking around the train, who asked if the seats by us were free. We said there was another woman sitting with us, but the other seat was free and she could join us, but she decided to keep looking. She came back later, having changed her mind after sitting with someone who was being very loud on her phone...and apparently wanting to prove to whoever she was talking to that she was a rebel. But anyway, this new girl sat down with us, and we were able to have some very nice conversation on the way to Los Angeles, where we parted ways. (Apparently she, too, had made the mistake of sitting in a reserved-for-family seat, and now she was having trouble finding a seat.) She said a lot of things that made me think, about labels and all that. And she was Hindu, so the discussion also made us want to learn about world religions.

At Union Station, we got salty Pocky and peanut Pocky, and Wetzel's Pretzels (our friend on the train told us we need to try Auntie Anne's), and then we came home, and Mom picked us up from the train station and we came home and were very happy.


Whew. All done.

Today I'm thankful for having Disneyland kettle corn to look forward to, getting to watch the Ace Attorney movie last night, having good Jungle Cruise skippers, having lots of great conversation with people, and salty Pocky.
Tags: disneyland, event report
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