Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena
double_dear

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Somebody call the Waaaah-mbulance.

I was hoping for a little inspiration on something to write about from the Writer's Block question today, but then I remembered that the Writer's Block questions went away. Now I'm a little sad...

As for things that are happening, well, my visiting teacher came over last night and graciously listened to us rant about stupid problems and why we hate the world. Actually, I don't think we really explained why we hate the world, only that we do. I'm not entirely sure of the reasons myself, mostly because I don't dwell on them, but right now they have a lot to do with the fact that so many people are afraid to talk to us, and the fact that that fact is, in fact, fact and not mere speculation.


We had it reconfirmed to us a couple of weeks ago by a friend from church who is less afraid to talk to us. I think it might make us less grumpy if there were something we were doing that scared people off, because then it would be like, "Aww, man, now I have to make changes!" but at least we could if we wanted. But as far as anyone can tell us, the mere fact that there are two of us is what scares them off. So then we're faced with the choice of staying apart on the off chance someone will then get the guts to make friends with one of us, or keep the friend we know will stay our friend. It's not really a difficult decision.

On the other hand, the other thing we're told incessantly is "you need to go outside of your comfort zone." We agree, generally, but sometimes it feels like people are telling us we need to keep leaving our comfort zone just so they never have to leave theirs. It's true we could try a little harder, though...

I guess I'm just thinking out loud. Sometimes I feel like we have been trying and it hasn't been doing us any good, and sometimes I feel like we haven't tried at all, and sometimes I'm like, "Who cares about any of these people anyway?" And I feel like I'm not explaining it right, but it's really hard to explain without sounding like I'm accusing everyone else and/or making excuses for myself. Really, I just want to sort it out. It's like...how we were almost passed over when our friend was making introductions at her baby shower on Tuesday. We don't want to be forgotten like that, but we don't want to speak up, either. And I'm not sure why that is. I think we're still waiting for somebody to come around who won't need a reminder. But in the meantime, I guess we need to remember that people are going to need reminders. Sigh.


But anyway, my visiting teacher also volunteered to take us somewhere to buy a bookshelf on Monday, so maybe we can finally get our room more organized.

Today I'm thankful for getting to hear Irino-kun sing "Under the Sea" this morning, my visiting teacher being very patient last night, maybe actually having time to play Gyakuten Kenji today, having plans to buy a bookshelf on Monday, and the yummy Italian Four-Cheese Cheez-Its we had for a snack today.
Tags: angst, being twins
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