calmSo we decided to think about it. It's a super good deal (though I'm not entirely convinced it's true--the e-mail said only Blu-rays worth $32.95 or less, but the website said it all counted; I don't think we'll really know unless we put it in our shopping cart), but we actually only really like the first one. Still, it's not like we hated the second two, and we don't have the third one and that's where they go down the drop. For only ten dollars, I guess we might as well. Then we'd have to pay full price for Bolt and Dinosaur, but since we like those better, it would be more worth it.
[EDIT: The Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy was a trap after all. But we caught it and got Dinosaur instead. Ha! (Bolt was also just two dollars too expensive to qualify.)]
Anyway. Since Mimsy's diagnosis, it's been a little bit hard not to feel like a jerk. There are a lot of things. First, we're both really squeamish about blood, and since we got her home from the cytology, we can pretty much tell where Mimsy's been during the night because there will be new streaks of blood around. And how much would that suck for her? She's sick and in pain, and the only people who can give her comfort don't want to touch her because she's got blood on her? That's just lame. But that one was pretty easily overcome by deciding not to be afraid of that anymore. Usually decisions like that are easier said than done, but I think all it takes is enough will power, and in situations like this, it's really easy to summon that up.
But what we're having a much harder time overcoming is that, while we want to be here for Mimsy as much as possible, since we can't talk to her, we have no idea what to do for her. And sometimes, we just want to go play video games. In fact, just last night we were hanging out with Mimsy and ditched her for video games. We probably wouldn't have, except that Oreo was also begging for attention and he seemed to want to go to the living room. That's his favorite place to hang out and we've been spending less time there. But to be honest, we were getting bored just sitting petting kitties. This is where it can be a real detriment to be terrible conversationalists. I should have gotten out the Disney Scene It? trivia cards. Epimetheus. We'll do that next time.
Earlier than that, Mimsy came out to the living room while we were watching Jeopardy!, and she had a kind of disgruntled look on her face, so we decided it was time to give her some painkillers. But here's the problem. There's a look. I think it shows up on young Simba in the Lion King, but it's been a while since we've seen it, so I couldn't say for sure. I think it's when Mufasa's dead and Scar comes to blame it on Simba, and he's scared and alone, and he's kind of backing up with this look in his eyes. That's the look Mimsy gives us when we approach her with a syringe. On the one hand, it's actually really cute. But on the other hand, it would be terribly sadistic to enjoy looking at it. When we were sure the medicine would help, and that she would get all better and we could stop the medicine regimen, we didn't have any problems with it. But now, all the medicine will do is maybe make her more comfortable. But we don't know how much or little pain she's in--we just know how much she hates taking medicine.
We gave her the painkillers anyway, but then she ran off and hid under the bed again, after she had been so neatly settled on the couch. So we decided to stop giving her medicine because we felt like jerks. But now we're like, "Oh no, what if she really is in pain and the medicine really would be the best for her?" So we feel like jerks again. There's really not much of a way out of it. Even if we put her to sleep, it would be like, "Oh good, she's not in pain anymore... But what if she wanted to stay with us that much longer!?" And of course not putting her down has the reverse problem. So it's hard. And we find ourselves thinking that it's a lot harder to have her dying than to have her dead, and then we really feel like jerks.
Then we remind ourselves that we love Mimsy, and we want to have her with us as long as she wants to be with us, and we're willing to deal with that stress if we have to. And then we stop feeling like jerks so much. We just hope she's not terribly annoyed with us.
Today I'm thankful for deals on Blu-ray discs, friends who will understand if we can't make it to Disneyland, getting cheered up with Gyakuten Meets Orchestra, Oreo currently not trying to eat plastic, and Supernanny being on tonight.
