Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena
double_dear

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Sad day

Thanks for the hugs and support, everyone. It's a little too overwhelming right now to respond to everything individually, so I hope you don't mind a blanket response. Also, this post might be kind of long, because rambling helps me stay sane.

So yesterday. We had discovered the problem with that check that the bank wouldn't let us have--it had been made out to a business (Futago Translations) and not a person (us). Actually, it had been made out to us doing business as Futago Translations, which seemed pretty much like a person to us, but the bank said otherwise, and they're the ones making the rules. But I had been told a teller can override the problem, so instead of going to the ATM machine, we made sure to go inside the bank and talk to a teller. I was informed that they couldn't accept the check into a personal account, only into a business account, but it will only take about ten minutes to make one if I just bring in the form we got when creating our fictitious business. For all it's being fictitious, it sure puts us through a lot of real hassle. Ah well. Anyway, we were then left with the problem of finding said form, and thus we took out all the papers we had stashed in the drawers in the kitchen to sort through them and find it.

We had found the form and were almost done sorting everything when the veterinarian called. He said that Mimsy had cancer, and he told me what kind of cancer it was but I don't remember the technical term. I had to focus on the details I could understand. It's a kind of cancer that doesn't really respond to chemotherapy (not that we'd want to put Mimsy through that anyway), and it also tends to come back, so if they removed the tumor, they'd have to take out a wide margin, which, it being in her mouth, they don't really have. So we have three options. One, we can seek out an oncologist, because they're specialists and they might have discovered some new treatment or something. There's not a lot of hope there, but I asked him to do it anyway. Still, we'll most likely be faced with one of the other two options--to make what little time she has left as painless as possible, or to put her down now. The doctor understood that these kinds of decisions take a lot of consideration, so he'll be calling back in a few days.

In the meantime, we had been calling around to see if we could get her a priesthood blessing. See, one time when I was... a teenager, I guess... I had a massive, massive headache, and I just couldn't take it. So I asked Dad to give me a healing blessing, and he did, and then I vomited once and the headache disappeared. And that's why I have a strong testimony of priesthood healing blessings. So we figured that unless it was her time to die and she really has to go, the Lord could heal her. But we were having a hard time getting a hold of people to ask what the policy is on blessing pets.

Finally, we got a hold of a counselor in the bishopric, who also happens to be a doctor who works with a lot of kids with serious conditions including cancer. He was able to offer a lot of advice and support that really really helped. He looked in the handbook to see if there was a policy on blessing pets, and there wasn't, but in the on blessings for healing and for counsel and comfort, it says they're for people who ask for them. Since Mimsy wouldn't be asking for the blessing herself, he figured it wouldn't be advisable. But of course we could ask our home teacher or our stepfather for a blessing of counsel and comfort, to help us make the best decision for her.

In the other meantime, while we were having a hard time contacting priesthood holders, we called Mom for advice, and soon after that we got a call from Celeste. We don't know how she heard what had happened, but she had, and she offered to come over later that night. She determined to bring a treat for us to eat, and she asked if we had any requests. We had no appetite for anything, and we told her that we can't really eat when we're stressed out. She said that's impossible, all women eat when they're stressed, and she was going to bring something and make us eat it. She showed up at about nine with a large pizza from Little Caesar's, which actually turned out to be very good because we had skipped dinner and even though we didn't really feel like eating, we were pretty hungry. We managed to each eat half of it while Glee was on in the background.

When the show ended, I turned off the TV, which was when the kind of awkward silence fell. We're all still working on the comforting thing. We had tried calling our home teacher to come give us blessings, but he didn't pick up and I think the number we had was for his family's phone anyway, and apparently he recently moved in with two other guys in the ward. But we were still feeling really lost, so we decided that Mimsy is more important than our stupid pride and called Mom to ask Steve to come over. They both came and we got blessings, and we talked for a while, and then everyone went home and we went to bed.

Today, we were hoping to read lots of manga, because that seems to be one of Mimsy's favorite things. We'll sit on our beds and read manga, and she'll sit with someone to be petted. But I think we're too depressing for her lately, because we only read for one CD and she left in the middle. She never did seem to like to see us sad; she was usually the one who would come hang out with us to cheer us up. Now, her hanging out with us doesn't really help. We know we need to make the most of the time we have left with her, but it's hard to put the tears on hold. It's like when we go to Disneyland and we realize we only have three hours left and we start freaking out because we're not sure how to make the most of it.

In the meantime, it's really hard to decide what to do. The doctor suggested putting her down if she's not eating anymore, but until we got that phone call, she was definitely still trying. After the phone call, she seemed to lose interest in food though--we would set something out for her, and she would look at it for a few seconds then walk away. It's almost like she kept going for our sake, and then when we got that call she knew it was okay to stop pushing herself. But she's still drinking water. She might be eating, too, but it's hard to say. She's been bleeding more, too.

I was so looking forward to the day she would be all better and we could take her to the groomers to make her all pretty again. We know she'll be going to a good place, where she'll be well taken care of, and we'll get to see her again, and when we do, she will be all pretty again. But that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye now. I just hope we gave her a good life. She'll always be our little supermodel, even if she did always move before we could get a good picture.

Today I'm thankful for all the happiness Mimsy has given us, lip balm (why does crying make your lips so chapped?), facial tissue, not having to get Mimsy's tongue removed, and at least having the choices narrowed down. If chemotherapy had been a viable option, the choice would have been even tougher.
Tags: futago translations, kitties, mimsy
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