Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena

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Dealing with fear

There actually aren't too many things that scare me very much (unless we're about to embark on an Adventure; then everything is terrifying), but recently, thinking about potential health problems has been enough to keep me awake at night. But only after I wake up in the middle of the night, because everything is scarier at those times. One time Sarah mentioned to us that there was someone who thought they had cancer and they were so convinced that eventually they actually got cancer or something, and I knew that was a bad thing for me to hear, because for the longest time after that, it was like, "Oh no! I have a mysterious twinge of pain! Is it cancer? No, it's not cancer! But now that I've thought it might be cancer, what if it becomes cancer!? Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!"

It gets even scarier when it comes to the cats, because one, they can't tell us what's wrong with them, and two, when we took Oreo to the vet a year ago, Mom kept making sure to point out that our cats are getting on in years, and it might not be too long before we have to say goodbye. (I almost had that sentence trail off, because when you're terrified of something, the idea of even saying it is also quite horrific, but I've been trying to remind myself that the Lord isn't so cruel as to take away my kitties just because I said I was afraid they'll be taken away. I think it's a very sneaky thing about fear that it makes you scared to even talk about what you're scared of, because chances are once you say it out loud, it's less scary. Though not always.)

Anyway, while we both managed to stay very optimistic about Oreo potentially having cancer (and of course we're very glad he doesn't), when I wake up in the middle of the night, it's easy to imagine what kind of things might have gone wrong with the vaccines he got yesterday. And I guess I'm not really going anywhere with this. But I did have a dream this morning where, since the vet keeps telling us to come back for something else we need for Oreo, we eventually had to take him to the groomer, but by that time I had no clue what was going on. My dreams can be very mundane sometimes.

And, not unexpectedly, both cats are doing very well right now. And Oreo is now being a pest because he wants an early dinner. Adorable little punk♥

Today I'm thankful for the rush job we had to do today not taking long at all, having time to read manga today, the vet not accidentally giving Oreo live rabies (at least, I'm pretty sure we would have seen signs by now), getting to reschedule our appointment (the nurse said it was okay to give him the booster shot sooner, as long as it was after two weeks), and it having been quite cool for June.
Tags: kitties, rambling

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