Anyway. Sarah's wedding was on Saturday. Everything went pretty well, but there were some mixed emotions that led to a few minor breakdowns on our part. First, from the very little time we'd spent with Sarah's new in-laws, including that day, we felt pretty uncomfortable around them. Added to that was a hangup of mine that came into play while we were taking pictures. It was time to take pictures of the couple with the bride's family, and we took a little bit of extra time because we were taking pictures outside in December, and so we had to take our coats off. By the time we got where everyone was posing, the couple was in the middle, and I don't remember exactly, only that Steve's kids and mother were between me and Sarah.
This might be difficult to explain, but the way Mom's remarriage went down, there was kind of a feeling that maybe Mom was ditching her old family entirely and replacing it with a shiny new family (except for Sarah, because she was still a minor at the time). It's been a long time and things have been patched up, but I still have a deep-seated need to prove that Sarah's biological family ranks higher than her step-family, and my being alone on the other side of the step-family seemed to do exactly the opposite of that. Athena would have stood with me, but the way it was, the picture was lopsided and she went to the other side to fix it--if I had moved, it would have been lopsided in the other direction. The photographer happened to be the guy who (supposedly) takes us to Disneyland and our former home teacher, who home taught us right after we moved to Fresno (also right after the remarriage), who I felt should have been well aware of how I felt about the whole thing, and was also in a position to tell people they needed to move around. I felt like if I did it, people would just yell at me for not letting things go or something. So I was mad at the situation and the photographer.
I realized I was being unreasonable, but once the picture was taken, I was so upset, it was going to be hard to take any more pictures, so, since they were taking pictures of various sections and subsections of the groom's family, I decided to take Tyra Banks's advice (a la America's Next Top Model) and get the crying out of my system for when it was our turn again. Unfortunately, the place I was sitting was a place that was going to show up in the picture, and I had to move, so one of the new in-laws kind of shouted, "Hey, could ya get out of the picture?" and not only did I completely fall apart, but my opinion of the new in-laws went from not great to very very bad. Fortunately, they're not my in-laws. Also fortunately, I managed to get enough crying out of my system that I didn't have any trouble smiling in later pictures.
They had a wedding lunch thing between the ceremony and the reception, and it was at Claim Jumper's. We're terrible at mingling, so we spent most of the time talking to Dad, noticing potential flaws with the restaurant and figuring out why they actually weren't flaws at all. For example, all the staff were wearing sheriff's badges. I thought each town only had one sheriff, but we figured that since there were probably a lot of claim jumpers around, they must have needed a lot of law enforcement. The biggest problem we had was the "world's smallest sundae" item on the menu, which was first a problem because why would we want the smallest sundae when a regular sized sundae would be much more satisfying? Then we discovered it was a decent size for a sundae, so of course we started talking about how easy it would be to make a sundae that was much, much smaller. But then we realized that they might be making a statement: no sundae in the world should ever be smaller than this one. And then it all made sense.
One thing we weren't able to figure out was the Japanese bread crumbs they fry their cheese sticks in. According to Yakitate! Japan, we thought there was no such thing as Japanese bread, so how could there be such thing as Japanese bread crumbs?
The reception was also pretty regular. We decided that we don't want to bother with them if either of us ever gets married. But it was definitely good that we went because first, we're supporting our little sister, and second, of course the photographer was there, and so we were able to make plans to go to Disneyland. (This turned out to be especially important, as his pass expires in two weeks.) We also had an interesting conversation with another guy we know who was staying with his dad in Los Angeles for a while, and working at the Disney Store while he did. He talked about how crazy fanatical the other cast members there were--they all knew obscure characters that nobody'd ever heard of, like Princess Aurora. Of course we were appalled, because doesn't everybody know who Princess Aurora is? I mean if he'd said Princess Eilonwy, sure, but Princess Aurora? Come on.
The photographer happened to walk by at that moment, so we stopped him and asked him who Princess Aurora is, to prove our point. He answered, "Uhhh..." and would have gotten smacked if I'd thought of it. Immediately after Athena told him he had just disproved our point, he said, "...Sleeping Beauty!" so it wasn't an entire bust, I guess. Except that he also told us he only just learned that the last time he went to Disneyland. Punk.
So overall, it turned out to be a nice, if long, day, but there were still a bunch of mixed feelings, most likely caused by the not entirely infrequent comments of, "It's just the Twins now," referring to the fact that we're the only of Mom's daughters who aren't married. The blahness continued through Sunday morning, making it very difficult to concentrate on Sacrament Meeting. Our feelings on marriage are actually very complicated. We're certainly not opposed to the idea, but we don't want to rush into it, because that can only end in disaster, and even though I think marriage is a good idea, I'm not really anxious to even look. I think the problem we have is a giant fear of abandonment. (It also explains why I'm so hung up on proving that the biological family ranks higher.) And since we've been ditched on enough occasions to make it difficult to believe that anyone would ever not abandon us, we're not too keen on getting attached to anything. Except for fictional characters, who would never abandon us, because they don't really know we exist anyway.
We spent the rest of Sunday just watching movies and playing video games and talking with Dad, which was usually nice but sometimes kind of aggravating. But on Saturday Dad indicated a desire to take some of our comp manga, though Athena tells me his phrasing and I'm not entirely convinced it's out of an interest in actually reading any of it anymore, but that's because I'm jaded this weekend. It was still pretty exciting for us, so I just sat between his bag and our pile o' comp copies and filled his bag with manga. This happened shortly after I told Athena that one of the easiest ways to prove you actually care about us is to just pick up any of the free manga that's lying around and read it for crying out loud, so I was eager to share. And he did start reading Higurashi, we think.
My thoughts don't seem to quite be connecting properly anymore, which is a good time for some fangirling! Or not, but I did want to mention the shiny present we bought for ourselves. We ordered Dissidia Final Fantasy and the shiny special edition PSP that matches it from Play Asia. Unfortunately, DSes and the PS3 lured us into a false sense of security and we forgot that with Playstation, you need some form of memory device. And thus we are missing a memory stick and cannot save our progress. But we played it a little anyway and oh, it is shiny. And now we know what to buy with the Game Stop gift card Athena got from Celeste and her husband. Now we just need to get to Game Stop...
Today I'm thankful for the chocolate covered pretzel sticks Dad got for everybody, the shiny that is Dissidia Final Fantasy, having a shiny new PSP that we can hook up to the PS3 and thus play on the TV (we think--they won't let us try it without a memory stick), having a gift card to buy a memory stick with, and getting to spend time with family this weekend.