Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena
double_dear

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On your right, you'll see some of the local arts and crafts.

I really don't have much idea what time Mom's going to come take us to play tutor, so I figure I might as well update now. We're feeling much better about life today than we were yesterday. A big part of this is that we talked about the offending e-mail with parkcooper and his wife last night, and they helped us realize that we didn't need to feel too bad about it. This was due in part to research revealing that this guy was, in fact, full of himself. We still can't ignore him completely, though, because otherwise we might end up full of ourselves, and that's no good at all.

When we were growing up, if anybody hurt our feelings at school, our parents would always tell us that they were just jealous because we were so much smarter and prettier. I'm glad they did that, because I think that's part of why we don't tend to have self-esteem problems (beating yourself up over a mistake doesn't qualify, I think). But I think that's why now whenever someone starts correcting us, our first reaction is to think they're just jealous for some reason, and that can't be good. Arrogance has always been a vice of our family, ourselves definitely included. We're working on it, though!

Anyway, another reason we're feeling much better about life is that we've been thinking about the Jungle Cruise. I'm not sure how many people understand exactly why the realization that Tokyo Disneyland (or Tokyo Disney Sea--we didn't really check) has a Jungle Cruise is such a giant motivator in getting us to Japan, so I thought it would be fun, for me at least, to explain.

So for those of you who have never experienced the Jungle Cruise, I'll just give an overview. When we went on it with our best friend from high school for his first time, we told him it was a ride where you go on a tour of the jungle and the guide tells corny jokes.

This could get long, because when I started thinking about it, I was like, "I bet we could go through the whole ride."

The tour guide starts talking while everyone is getting seated in the boat. Sometimes they'll ask people where they're from and stuff. One time we had a guide who's like, "So you're from Seattle? See that up there? That's the sun! You're from Reno? See that down there? That's water!" Which just goes to show that there are some female tour guides who are very very funny. It sounds kind of sexist to say it, but while there are many funny women in the world, not a whole lot of them work on the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland.

Anyway, our understanding is that the guides have a bunch of jokes to choose from, so the tour's not exactly the same every time, and of course it's all in the telling, so some guides are funnier than others, regardless of what joke they're telling. One we've heard a couple of times to start with was, "So. Who got up this morning and thought, 'Disneyland! Jungle Cruise! Gotta do it!'? I did." The funniest time we heard it, the guy added, "Then I hit my head against the bedpost a few times and started to cry."

As you leave the dock, they usually tell you to wave to all the people on the dock. "You'll never see those people again. ...But then, you've probably never seen them before." Aaaaaahhahahahaaaa. (Some guides, as an alternate, will say, "Wave to all the beautiful people on the dock! ...Oh, okay, go ahead and wave to the ugly ones, too.")

The tour takes you past the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, most commonly known as "The Indiana Jones Ride," and about half the tour guides will comment on the people standing in line. One of my favorite jokes, that we've only heard once but will never forget, was when the guide said, "As we pass by Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, you'll hear screams of anguish and terror. Then I'll compose myself and we'll get back to the tour."

There's a tiger on the left. "Bengal tigers can grow to weigh 2000 pounds and jump up to 25 feet. But don't worry--we're only ten feet away; he'll jump right over us." Then you go to the elephant bathing pool, where it's okay to take pictures, "because they've all got their trunks on. And there's Bertha. She's been sitting under that waterfall for fifty years. No wonder she's so wrinkled."


I guess that's enough to give you an idea of what kind of jokes they have. After getting off the ride with our friend the first time, he said, "You told me they were corny--you didn't say they were bad for my health." And that! is exactly why it would be so incredibly awesome to ride the attraction in Japanese. Although for all we know, the Japanese version is more serious, like Storybook Land. We'll just have to go on the ride and find out!

We e-mailed our dad's cousin, who happens to live in Tokyo, and asked for tips last night. We haven't heard back from him yet, but regardless, we're getting closer and closer to actually getting up the nerves to buy tickets. And if all else fails, Celeste said she'd be happy to go with us and wander around aimlessly. I've mentioned we don't want to wander around aimlessly, but that's if we go by ourselves. If we had somebody to wander around with us, it wouldn't be so bad.

And the other thing that's helping us feel happy about life is the Gundam Seed Destiny Suit CD we're listening to right now. Sure Meer's version of Quiet Night completely defeats the purpose of the lyrics, but it's still fun to listen to. Eheh.

Today I'm thankful for good friends, the Jungle Cruise, the joy of reminiscing, Gundam Seed Destiny songs, and mozzarella bites.
Tags: disneyland, japan, tender mercies
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