Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena
double_dear

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Angst! and not angst.


Before Mom came to get us yesterday, she called and asked if we were still committed, which was really annoying and probably why we didn't try harder to be more cheerful when she arrived. The score-keeping itself wasn't horrendously bad, as we knew it wouldn't be. It's really more of an annoyance and, to us, a waste of time, than anything else. We really should have suggested going, but playing our DSes the whole time, and then when it got close to the end we could copy what Mom had.

See, the way it works is that each team has a scorekeeper for their own records, and whenever they play home, they have to keep score in the league book, too, and apparently it's very difficult to do both at once. When Mom asked us if we'd keep score last year, we asked why she couldn't just copy all the information after the game, and she said it was too much. Athena (who is the one who did the actual scorekeeping while I sat there and brooded) figures she could copy it all in ten minutes.

So the game ended a little early because it was getting dark, and Mom asked us where we wanted to go to eat. Athena said home would be good. We could tell that Mom was feeling a little like she owed us, because then she offered to take us to Best Buy. We were in no mood to accept any offer from her, so we told her we'd been there on Saturday and they didn't have what we wanted, nor do they even carry it anymore. So then she offered to take us to Suncoast. That's where we stopped her and said we needed to talk about this, because the fact is, we did want to go to Suncoast.

As it turns out, the reason they'll probably be needing someone to keep score all season is that their old extra score keeper was Steve's ex-wife, and now that they're suing for custody and she's losing, they don't expect to see her at many games. That doesn't quite explain why they asked us for the first time several months ago. Mom also told us that the only person that they might expect to do it was sitting next to her yesterday and commented that he can't do stuff like that. (Apparently score keepers get a lot of respect from the other parents. Like it's hard or something?)

We told her (or tried to) that if she'd explained that, and tried to act like she wasn't completely disregarding the fact that we didn't want to do it, we would probably have been happy to help. We also asked if she had even tried to find anyone else, and she admitted she hadn't. We got to a point where I think she understood, but the discussion kept going on, I think because we hadn't made our point to our own satisfaction. I'm really not sure why. And as the conversation went on, Mom seemed to understand less and less. It's all very confusing.

But the main thing that she said that got me thinking was that, by getting mad at her about this, we're making it so that she's afraid to communicate with us because she's afraid of hurting us. In my head, I translated that to, "You mean you're afraid of us getting mad at you and hurting you." Maybe I should have called her on it. But, like Akito, she has a talent for finding the exact thing that bothers us the most. Because people do seem to be afraid of us, and a lot of the time it seems like it comes from us getting hurt and trying to explain that we're hurt. Like with Mom. She completely disregarded our feelings about keeping score, and decided we would do it anyway. Not out of malice or trying to be mean to us or anything--just because she and Steve were being completely self-serving. And then we tell them that we don't like how they're treating us, and they get all defensive and are like, "I don't see why you're getting mad at me!" And chances are, they're not going to talk to us for a long time if they can help it, because they really don't understand why we got mad at them, and so they have no way of predicting when we'll get mad again, and now they see us as being extremely volatile.

Why don't they just realize that if we can see that people are actually being considerate of us, we won't get mad? Celeste said one time, when we were complaining of similar problems, that it's not fair of us to expect them to do all the work that's required in considering other people and how they might affect other people with their actions. Maybe she was right. And logically, I know she was wrong and that's absurd. But emotionally, I'm tired of people being afraid of me.

The agreement we made with Mom as we drove home from Suncoast, which, incidentally, also had nothing that we wanted enough to sell our souls for, is that, since a week can be kind of short notice sometimes, we would keep score for the next home game, and after that we hope they'll get someone else. Still, something didn't quite feel right. Since Mom's new approach was to try to convince us that it was a good way to spend time together, "albeit doing something you don't like doing" (she really liked that phrase), and we could do something we did like doing afterward, as opposed to us not doing it and therefore not spending any time together at all (which seemed a little strange because we spent time with her on Friday and Sunday, doing things which had nothing to do with Little League, except that Steve and Scott were there), I promised her it wasn't that we hate her. And she said, "I don't think it's that at all." And that's what scares me.

We've been demonized by Mom before, though, so it really shouldn't bother me that much. But I kept thinking about it last night anyway, and I remembered all the stuff about turning the other cheek and if a man should compel you to go a mile with him, go with him twain and lending him the cloak with the coat and stuff. And since the score keeping is more of a nuisance than a torment, then chances are if they ask us again, we'll go ahead and do it. If I'd remembered all that stuff in the first place, it might have saved a lot of grief, but we do think it's important for Mom to know when she's out of line. I hope.


On a happier note, we now have Costco membership! Da-dah! So now we have the ability to spend even more money! Well, technically less money on stuff we probably needed already. But since we're not used to shopping at Costco anymore, we're looking at the coupon book the sales representative gave me (I guess because we have a fictional business, they send sales reps? I don't think they normally do that), and we're like, "Ooooh, look at this thing we never dreamed we needed but now suddenly we can't live without it! We can buy it now!" Okay, so we're a little more sane than that, fortunately. But it is kind of exciting and scary at the same time. Mostly because a Costco membership won't do us any good if we can't get to Costco. ...Except that we can order stuff online! Booyah!

Okay, now I'm just being silly. We're taking the rest of the week off, except to go to the post office tomorrow, because we're ahead of schedule enough to do that, and we're falling behind on anime again. Plus, it's better not to start new projects on Friday, because it makes it really hard to get into the swing of it.

Today I'm thankful for Costco membership, the guy who gave us granola bars at the game yesterday, Costco goodie bags, long weekends, and having had enough time yesterday to turn in a translation before the game.
Tags: family issues, futago translations, sports are evil
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