March 13th, 2021


Minecraft trauma

Today started out...unusually. We hadn't quite finished our morning routine when Grawp called and asked to play Minecraft together (technically, Hermie asked if we could play Minecraft with Grawp, but it amounts to the same thing). This was a bit of a relief, because we were afraid that Grawp had heard one of Athena's, "I hate this game..."s in reference to Minecraft, and decided never to call to bother her again. We hadn't heard from him in over a week, after all.

So we played Minecraft we Grawp, and he showed us the new house he built (that Hermie was not allowed to enter), and the stone golems he'd created. He named them Stort, Bob, and Dude, and we were like, "What's stort...?" and he was like, "Stort!" in that tone of voice that says, "You know!" No. We do not know. I guess it's one of those things the kids are saying these days. But his parents let him say it, so it's probably not dirty.

Despite Hermie's enthusiasm in getting us to play with Grawp, she almost immediately started bugging him with requests that she be allowed to play. At one point, they had to get their mother involved, and fifteen minutes later, it was Hermie's turn. That's when things got...interesting.

I don't even know what happened. We were out in the yard with the horses--I don't remember why--but the camera angle showed the inside of our house...which was on fire for some reason. There were flames shooting up everywhere, and Hermie was inside, just calm as can be. We still don't know what she did to start it, but as soon as we started saying, "Whoa, why is our house on fire!?" she decided it was time to put it out. It was really kind of cute, because for a while after this, she was like, "I made an accident, but that's okay--I'm going to fix it!"

She fixed it by summoning water. This is something we have not learned how to do, but Hermie has learned, and she does it all the time. I think I already mentioned the fountain she set up on top of the bird house. The problem being, once you place a water source in Minecraft, the water just pours out and goes everywhere. So she did manage to put the fire out, but now our house was flooded and full of waterfalls.

At this point, Grawp had gone to another room because Gilderoy had the fortuitous(?) timing to call almost immediately after Grawp's turn on Minecraft had ended. And despite Hermie's vast experience in creating water sources, she apparently has no idea how to remove them. So now our house was filling with water, and we had no idea how to stop it, so we just tried replacing the water with blocks. We figured if we managed to replace all the water, whatever was making it flow would be gone, too, right? Wrong. I just...I... Like, why do they have to have this one thing where you can't just whisk it away, even though you can clear all the other things? ...Okay, that's not true--water isn't the only thing you can't just "mine" away, but I'll go into that later.

We probably should have just let our house keep flooding until Grawp got back to help, but we didn't realize how tragic the outcome would be. As Athena went around trying to stop the water, one of her parrots got trapped in the water. It didn't seem to be taking damage, so we figured it would be fine, but then the message appeared on the screen that said the parrot had drowned. This made us very very sad. I know it's just a video game, but dang. And Grawp laughed about it, the little twerp.

It was soon after this that he was able to explain how to clean up water (you have to throw a sponge at it and destroy the sponge), and then our house was finally dry, and Athena got to set about rebuilding.

Meanwhile, Hermie had decided that we have far too many horses--there are only two of us (her and Athena), so we only need two. And because animals are another thing you can't just mine away, her solution was to start killing the horses. These bloodthirsty little children, I tell you. We insisted on not killing the horses, but taking them outside the enclosure and letting them loose. I figure they'll probably get killed by monsters, but we can at least pretend they ran off to freedom instead.

We were still escorting horses outside when the children's mother insisted that they were all going outside and Hermie had to leave. We went over to Animal Crossing and attempted to calm down. I mean, it's really pretty funny, but at the time, and even thinking about it now, it's incredibly stressful.

And so, thus traumatized, we decided to summon groceries from the internet instead of going to the store ourselves, and we spent the rest of the day kind of lounging. We're going to have some chocolate milk now, and hopefully that, too, will help us feel better.

Today I'm thankful for Grawp not deciding to never play video games with us again (we will be very happy when they find another favorite, though), getting to hear K.K. March, finally having order restored in our Minecraft house (but at what cost...), being able to summon groceries from the internet, and getting to listen to some more Percy Jackson while we leveled up Pokemon.