May 13th, 2010

mondainai

Thoughts on crying

Hmm, not sure what to post about, since yesterday was full of work and errands and the like. I guess I could talk about something Han and Gaston were talking about on the way home from Disneyland about a month ago.

We missed some of the details, because it started out as one of them asking the other about a situation that they both knew about but we didn't, but then Han explained. ...and I still missed some of the details because I'm squeamish. The gist of it is that a girl they knew hurt her hand very badly, and the doctor explained to Han that in order for her to be able to use her hand properly again, she would need to do certain exercises every day. They would be very painful, but the pain would only last as long as she was doing the exercises.

So Han, like the very good friend that he is, went to this girl's apartment every day to make sure she did her exercises. She hated doing them because they were very painful, and her roommates all hated him, because the way they saw it, he pretty much came over to make her cry.

When I heard that part, it kind of touched a nerve with me, because we have this theory about foul weather friends. You know how you always hear about fair weather friends, who are only nice to you when things are going well? We think that there are also foul weather friends, who are only nice to you when they see you crying. I don't know what makes them pay attention more--whether they just like the drama, or they just don't like to see you crying because it makes them feel bad or guilty, or they just like to help people feel better but are too distracted by their busy lives to pay any attention to them otherwise.

It's something we've noticed since elementary school. There were people who never talked to us except for when we were crying, when suddenly they were showering us with attention. It makes us wonder, "Why didn't you pay attention when I wasn't crying? Then I might not have been crying to begin with." That's why, although we generally don't have a problem crying in public, we tend to hold back tears because we don't want to deal with the foul weather friends.

But anyway, back to the main topic. Han said this girl's roommates hated him because all he did was make her cry, and they always tried to make him leave and stuff, and I said something very cynical about of course they don't want him around--it makes them uncomfortable to hear somebody crying. And that's when Han and Gaston pointed out something we knew all along but had never been able to express:

Crying is weakness leaving the body.

When we said this to Celeste, she said, "I thought pain was weakness leaving the body." Well, maybe it's both, but crying makes more sense, because you have tears leaving your body. We even heard once (I think from Dad) that tears contain toxins, and it's very good to have them leave your body.

At any rate, I really liked that they put it that way, because whenever people keep saying things about how they hate to cry, we always think, "But crying is good for you!!!" In Gundam Seed (or Gundam Seed Destiny; I'm not sure which, but probably the first one), Lacus says to Kira, "It's okay to cry. That's why we can cry." And I'm pretty sure most of the time people cry, they feel a lot better afterward.

...And I had a lot more coherent thoughts on this when I remembered the incident better. Like how it even makes sense in the case of crying tears of joy, because you can be inspired to be stronger without having to go through something sad. But basically what it boils down to is that crying is good for you.

In the case of this girl, I guess the pain being weakness leaving thing works, too, because she didn't want to deal with the pain, so she would cheat on her exercises, and now she has limited mobility in her hand. It's kind of a sad story, but it has a good moral to it, I think.

Today I'm thankful for being able to cry when I need to, getting to finally eat some of our local honey today (I wonder how much it will take to cure our allergies...), Celeste being kind enough to drive us to the grocery store, having another chance to show off our fancy new t-shirts at Family Home Evening tonight, and having time to do fun stuff today!