August 10th, 2005


Today is a day of scariness.

Well, not really a whole lot of scariness, since all the scariness is in our e-mail (or not, as the case may be and currently is...or was last time we checked), and e-mail is easily forgotten through manga translation. There's also the scariness involved in Mom's idea for a meeting to discuss what to do about our lease, but since we haven't heard from her yet, that's not too worrisome either.

It's this job-hunting thing really. Actually, the job-hunting itself isn't a problem, since we do want to increase our income, because we need to save up to go to Japan. It's the uncertainty that's a problem. I'm usually pretty optimistic about it (even though we've already been turned down once), but it's still scary. I was arguing with Mom yesterday and she started talking about how we've over-specialized and we'll never be able to get a career and stuff. That's actually when I hung up on her. Eheh...

So on the one hand, I get indignant and I think to myself, "I'll show her!" But on the other, I'm afraid she might be right, which of course is probably why I hung up on her, and why I'm ashamed for giving in like that. When I did it, I actually thought it was because I was tired of her saying the same old thing.

The fear that we've made a big mistake in over-specializing is actually one we've had for a while. And not trying to get more work is a good way of not proving Mom right. Unfortunately, if we don't try, we won't be able to prove her wrong, either. Thinking about it, even if we have over-specialized, we just need to work a little harder to find where our jobs are, and that's only if worse comes to worst. So really we had nothing to worry about to begin with.

Sometimes, you just need to remind yourself of these things.