Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena

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On remakes

I remembered I did have something to talk about yesterday. Dad called, and he asked if we'd seen the Mulan remake. We said no, we don't watch any of the remakes (except for Emma and the Beast, but we were on a plane) and he didn't say anything else about it. We've had other people mention remakes like they wanted to talk about them, and we would tell them we hadn't seen them and weren't planning to, and they wouldn't say anything else about it, either.

But here's the thing. I mean, I know that Athena and I are even more weird about spoilers than most people--like, if there's a movie we're planning to see, we don't even want to see the trailer, because we're like, "I already know I'm going to see it. I'll catch the highlights with the rest of the movie." But that's the thing--we're already planning to see those movies. (And I would add that "those movies" that we're planning to see are much fewer and farther between these days.)

If we're not planning to see a movie, spoil away! You can't spoil a movie we're not going to see. On the other hand, if you're hoping we'll change our minds and see it anyway, you're going to have to tell us something about it to get us to want to see it. If we have no additional information, what incentive do we have to change our minds? Even if you were to say, "I'm not going to spoil it because I think you should see it," that would probably be more of an incentive than just, "Okay, I won't talk about it."

We did have someone basically say that about Wiladdin, but those remakes are going to need a lot more talking up than that. There's actually a very good reason for that, too. We're currently in a place mentally where, even if you're our best friend and it's your favorite movie ever, if it's from Disney or Pixar, we'll probably be looking for every reason to hate it. We know it's unfair and unreasonable, but I'm not sure we're capable of liking new Disney movies right now. Like, Gaston told us and told us and told us and told us that even we would like Coco if we actually gave it a chance, and despite our skepticism and bias against Pixar, we tried to go in with open minds. But we didn't even have to try hard to not like it. (Not that we necessarily think it's a bad movie (despite weird plot things like if he stole a guitar from some random dead dude why is it specifically his family who has to forgive him and not the random dead dude whose guitar he stole), just that it had very little of the things that we personally enjoy in movies.)

The other thing (getting back to remakes) is that they're remakes. We've seen the originals. We know more than the basic plotline. I mean, of course there are differences, but, like, just don't talk about those so much, if you don't want to spoil anything. I don't know. Like, talk about the costumes or the acting or something. And say they made interesting choices when doing such-and-such scene, which we know was a scene because it was in the original...unless it's a spoiler that they didn't remove that scene...

Anyway. Maybe this rant is pointless, because from what I understand the Mulan remake is actually quite different from the original Disney movie. I don't know. Mostly it just goes back to a quote from a Terry Pratchett book which is this: Hate is just love with its back turned. Yes, we hate the Disney remakes, and on principle we feel we should not spend time or money on them. But we still want to know everything about them!

Today I'm thankful for getting to talk to Grawp about the Four Giants, having a lovely Halloween photo op spot on our island, finishing our main work early, getting to try out a new series, and cookies.
Tags: disney

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