Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena
double_dear

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Your name

Well, I think we are officially no longer fit for human society. We watched Your Name tonight and we did not like it. We seem to hate just about every popular movie these days, so clearly the problem is with us, but nevertheless, I don't see much point in making ourselves like a movie that we don't enjoy, so we'll just continue to live in our cave and watch Miraculous ad infinitum.


The first problem I had with it is one that isn't a deal breaker, but is a pet peeve of mine with movies that involve women in men's bodies. The male actor always "does a voice," and it drives me nuts. I just want all male actors who intend to play women to know: women do not alter their voices to sound like themselves. So if a woman suddenly finds herself in a man's body, and maybe this is just a weird theory of mine (having never been in a man's body myself), she's probably not going to go out of her way to use a higher voice--she's just going to use the vocal chords in that body like she'd use her regular vocal chords. Her regular voice sounds higher because women's voices are naturally higher.

...But to be fair, it's not like I'm an expert on the biology of vocal chords, so maybe there is an expert out there who can prove me wrong. But in the meantime, I really appreciate it when I hear a male actor using a different personality BUT THE SAME VOICE when playing a female character in his male character's body.

It especially bugs me because usually when a guy is trying to sound like a girl, it often sounds exaggeratedly weak. I know it's funny to hear a dude talking like a chick, but it just sounds like mocking women to me. So whenever Taki was in Mitsuha's body, it grated every time he spoke. In that same vein, when he's in Mitsuha's body, why is his inner monologue still in a female voice? ...Okay, to be fair, if my voice suddenly changed drastically, I might quickly switch my inner voice to sound like the new one. I haven't had that experience. And at least we weren't hearing Mitsuha's inner monologue in Taki's Mitsuha voice.

Anyway, I was going to get over the voice thing, because the love story was really very sweet. We did get extremely invested in it, and when Taki found out about the comet destroying the town and kind of went a little crazy over it, it was some good drama.

But. I mean, we really liked it right up until they met each other at the crater. (Speaking of the crater, it's clear this area has been hit by astronomical phenomena before, more than once, so maybe people should have been a little more credulous when they were told it could happen again.) And the scene on the crater was so sweet! Except. For the fact that there was a freakin' COMET about to HIT THE TOWN and KILL EVERYBODY! GAH!!! Where is your sense of urgency!? Priorities!! If you live through this, you can find each other and be together forever and ever, BUT YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE TOWN FIRST!!!!

After that, they just took forever to do every single little thing. Taki sends Mitsuha off saying, "It's okay, there's still plenty of time," and then Mitsuha and Tessie are trying to evacuate the festival and nobody's budging and they're like, "There's no time!" and we're like, "THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN TIME." But now there is no time, so STOP worrying about "oh no, I can't remember his name boo hoo hoo!" and freakin' go SAVE THE TOWN!, for crying out loud. Rassa-frassin stupid frickin' teenagers. Gah. (If not for the crisis, when she said she didn't remember, I probably would have been like, "Oh no!" and felt sad for her. And it was super cute when she finally looked at her hand and laughed and said, "That doesn't tell me your name.")

I mean, of course we want Mitsuha to remember Taki and be able to find him, but we were a little more concerned about the HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE who were about TO DIE. That's okay, though, your visuals are super stunning, so yeah, I'd love to spend five minutes looking at this landscape while a comet comes hurtling through space to destroy the lives of hundreds. It's fine.

The visuals really were stunning, though, I will give it that.

And now that this empowered woman has been given her man's okay to stand up to her father, she walks determinedly up to him...and we cut to eight years in the future. And then we take forever to do every little thing again. All we want to know is whether the town survived, but that's okay, let's take a billion years on Taki's fruitless job search. It wasn't really a billion years, I know. I'm sorry. I should try to be nice. It was a good story. Our attention spans just gave out towards the end. The characters were very well done and cute and everything. It just made me really angry to see them dilly-dallying like that, so when the crisis was over, I didn't have any patience left to wait for the conclusion, even though I knew, just based on the fact that they were dragging it out, that it was going to be okay. And we're very happy for Mitsuha and Taki that they found each other again.


So yeah. One thing I will say for it is that I do love it when a movie inspires strong emotions, and it did do that. It had a lot of good things about it. Maybe I would be less impatient with a second viewing, but...I think we're good for now.

Today I'm thankful for getting to see Your Name, work being super easy today, getting to listen to the Land of the Lustrous soundtrack again, getting to watch Miraculous, and Benjamin Bollen's portrayal of Lila as Adrien.
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