In the meantime, we were still talking about Rise of the Resistance. When last we left our heroes(?), they had just been captured by the First Order. Dun dun DUN!
So there were a bunch of
Some of the First Order guys seemed almost friendly, actually, while others were doing their best to be fearsome. After we were organized, we were left in the charge of one guy who was barking out orders, telling Gaston to take his hands out of his pockets, ordering me to stand up straight...I wasn't exactly slouching, but my posture wasn't perfect because I was still cracking up. I felt like that guy in all the movies who gets arrested but can't stop telling jokes or show any respect to save his life. Only I'm not so good with the cracking original jokes.
Eventually the door to our cell opened up and they herded us inside. There were no colors, so I wasn't sure what that was all about, but I did notice (because it was the main focal point of the room) a sort of balcony/catwalk sort of thing above us. Maybe it was a loft? I don't know, but Bill Weasley was there and I don't remember if Kylo Ren was already there or if he showed up later. There was some talk, either amongst themselves or directed at us (remember, I was too busy wondering if there was a drop in my near future to properly register what all was being communicated to me) about how they were going to get the location of the Resistance base out of us, period.
Reflecting on it later, we wondered why they would bother asking us about it, when our Mon Calamari captain could probably give them that much information and much much more...and frankly, at that point, I knew absolutely nothing about it anyway. At this point, we're not even sure if we had just left there or if we were en route when they captured us. I only remember the first place was on Batuu because Athena mentioned something about it when we were typing up our report yesterday. Of course, assuming any of us new Resistance recruits did remember where the base was, they might have figured they could have gotten the information out of us more easily than from our captain, because, as new recruits, our loyalty may not have been as strong yet, and statistically, with hundreds of new recruits a day, someone is bound to crack. And that leads us to why in the world does the Resistance not have a better screening process? At the very least, don't give us any information until we've undergone some training and stuff. I've seen enough movies and TV shows to know that you can get someone from point A to point B without them ever knowing where they are. It's called a blindfold, for crying out loud.
Anyway, we've rewritten Bill and Ren's scene to say that they're going to torture the information out of our captain and use the rest of us as bait and/or hostages. You know, kill us off one by one sort of thing. Of course they would torture us for whatever information they could get out of us, which would be rather harrowing for the two of us, because we really don't know anything. We still don't know anything.
So Bill and Ren left to...do...something...and then we heard some noises coming from the wall. I thought it was stereo sound indicating their footsteps and they were going to come into our level of the cell, but that might be a result of my failure to accurately process their dialogue in their conversation. Gaston and Bernard had the right idea, though, possibly because they were closer to that wall. The point is, they were burning through the metal. Why? We found out when the wall panel slid open, revealing two Resistance operatives who had come to rescue us! Tadah!!
They hurried us into two vehicles, and made sure our seatbelts were securely fastened (there was more cracking up when they gave the safety announcement in Spanish), and told us we were going to pretend it was a prisoner transfer or something. Come to think of it, I'm not sure their cover would have worked too well, because, in order to make sure we knew they were with the Resistance, they were still wearing Resistance clothes, and not First Order uniforms. They would have been spotted in a heartbeat. And they were! Because no sooner had we set out than the storm troopers started firing at us. Nobody was worried, of course, because they were storm troopers.
This is where all the super special effects and stuff came into play. The first thing we noticed was that the ride was trackless. At first, I breathed a sigh of relief, because I've been on two trackless attractions (Winnie the Pooh's Hunny Hunt and Aquatopia), and neither of them had any height changes at all (except for when Tigger bounces you). But then I remembered that I think maybe I'd heard somewhere that the first time trackless technology was used was for Walt Disney World's version of Tower of Terror, which, as you may know, is basically a ride that exists for the 13-story drop. In fact, here on the West Coast, they took you up and dropped you down, and that was it, and that's why I'm still not sure about the trackless tech being used in Florida, but the point is, I was still afraid.
Aaaanyway, a droid controlled the vehicle as it raced around the star destroyer...I mean, I say "raced," but with the trackless technology, it can only go so fast. It was almost a leisurely glide, but not really that leisurely. I just didn't feel a sense of urgency, is what I'm saying. But stuff was getting shot and...I was going to say blown up, but I don't actually remember any explosions, unless you count all the rubble flying around when we ran into Kylo Ren and he got really mad. That was actually the second time we ran into Kylo Ren (I think), the first of which being when our navigator droid drove us straight to his office...I mean the bridge? or whatever room that was that had animatronics of Ren and Bill (I know his name isn't Bill in the Star Wars universe, but I don't know what his name is in Star Wars, and I like Bill Weasley better anyway), and they saw we'd escaped, and I guess that set off Kylo Ren's anger issues, because he kept showing up. We had already heard about the "wow" moment when he stabs his lightsaber through the ceiling from above it. He just moved it in a semi-circle, though, and it really didn't serve much purpose. He didn't even cut a hole to jump through. I mean, you could argue that we'd already gotten away from that room so he decided to move on, but...I just don't know.
There were a bunch of AT-ATs, too. They got shot at in the conflict, and I think Finn was hiding behind one of them? I mean, I definitely saw Finn...and I'm sad to say the faces on the animatronic figures were not really that great. Where are the guys who did the Hondo Ohnaka face? That animatronic looks amazing. The point is, I'm not sure if it was behind an AT-AT where I saw Finn.
And the other important thing is that at one point we drove onto a lift, and...yeah, I think that's where Finn was, and he said great, now go down! I think he said why, but we went up instead (I seem to remember him saying something in an annoyed tone about that), and the thing is, I know rides well enough to know that what goes up must come down, so my focus was definitely elsewhere when this happened. So I don't know if the Resistance had an escape vessel ready for us in a lower deck, but now I knew something bad was coming. But not for a while! We still drove around getting shot at and stuff.
And then we drove into a chamber that was just the right size for our vehicle, and a door shut behind it. And in front of us was a "window" into space, and we could see other...ride vehicles (we don't know what they're called in this one)...falling. They dropped one, then the next one, and then there was a noise...or at least, that's how it plays out in Athena's mind. I don't even remember seeing the other ride vehicles drop because as soon as that door closed behind us, I was like, "Uh-oh, here it comes!" and my whole consciousness was focused on bracing for that drop. And then it came...and it was really really short, so that was a huge relief. And then we flew through space or something? It was a lot like a simulator at this point. And then we landed and a member of the Resistance welcomed us back, and the older kid in our party was like, "I wanna do it again!" and the Resistance guy was like, "You want to get shot at by the First Order?" and the kid was like, "Yeah!" And Gaston and Bernard were like, "THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVEEEERRRRR!!!!" and we were like, "Um...I guess?"
We still have to process everything, but we can't fully process it until we go on it again, because that drop had us too distracted to register important details. And going on the ride is such a process, argh. For now, though, our opinion of it is that it's a great concept, but the execution is lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. I think part of it might be the lack of believability in the premise, and I know, I know, you have to suspend your disbelief, but...I kind of get tired of having the burden constantly placed on me for dealing with sloppy storytelling. At any rate, if all you want in an attraction is, "I GOT TO BE INSIDE STAR WAAAARRRRRSSS!!!" then it's perfect.
And that concludes our report on Rise of the Resistance. The other thing worth reporting on is that we saw the parade again and concluded that yeah, it is pretty good and if only they would make a parade this nice for movies we actually liked. But I do want to give major props to the dude playing Kristoff, because as he came down the parade route, we saw him dancing with little girls in the audience and stuff, and then he noticed someone viewing the parade from one of those wheelchairs that you recline in. As soon as he saw them, he stopped, pulled out his lute, and went to go...well, I imagine he sang to them, but they were on the other side of the street, and the parade music is pretty loud, so we don't know. But the point is, he gave that person some very special attention and it was really sweet. (We were told later that many members of our party were brought to tears at the sight of it.)
Today I'm thankful for getting to evolve some more Pokemon, having a Gallade now, surviving the drop on Rise of the Resistance, the decidedly less sloppy storytelling in Miraculous, and getting to try Pillsbury's peaches and cream cinnamon rolls (they were okay).