Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena

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Kingdom Hearts [chi] Back Cover

Oh my goodness, we have been feeling so contrary today. I think I stopped myself four times from making a comment on Facebook that wouldn't have actually started with, but might as well have started with, "Well, actually..." It was not pretty.

But in other news, we watched Kingdom Hearts [chi] Back Cover today! Tadah! And I don't even know what to think. It's just so...something. The visuals are stunning, I will give it that. But Square-Enix has a way with stunning visuals that makes me enjoy things even when I don't really sense much of a storyline, like with Advent Children.

So basically it's the story of what all is going on behind the scenes of Kingdom Hearts [chi], which is where there are five "Foretellers," who each form a union of Keyblade wielders in an attempt to collect Lux and...protect the light? I think?

Well, Back Cover goes into the stories of each of the Foretellers, and it's a complicated plot of politics and intrigue that ultimately turns out to be stupid. I mean, the story isn't necessarily stupid, as stories go, but...

So there's this guy the "Master of Masters" or whatever, and the Foretellers are all his apprentices, and he's given them each a mission, which of course he gave each of them in private so nobody really knows what the other's mission is. I mean, they tell each other the gist of it, but of course there's stuff they're "supposed to keep to themselves." And then he up and disappears and leaves Mr. Unicorn in charge. (They all wear masks of animals that look pretty cool. They also have names, and I even remember all of them! but that's just not as fun. Mr. Unicorn is Ira.)

Now Ira's upset because *GASP!* there's a traitor. And he tells all the others and now they're all bummed out and/or suspicious, or, in the case of Mr. Teddy (Aced (sounds kinda like "acid")), angry as all get out. He's like, "This is why we need to join our unions together and fight off the darkness!" I didn't quite follow the logic (we may need to watch it again), but the rest of them are like, "But the Master of Masters said we shouldn't!"

Oh, I forgot to mention, the Master of Masters has this book that tells the future, and the end of it is all, "And the Keyblade wielders had a war and all the worlds were covered in darkness and everybody died." And Unicorn Dude is like, "Uhh... Shouldn't we stop it?" and Master of Masters is all, "Nah." So Ira says, "But we could get more Keyblade wielders..." and Master of Masters is all, "Okay, good luck with that." Yet for some reason he also made a rule that the unions, which is what you (the player in Kingdom Hearts [chi]) join, can never team up. Why? Nobody knows. My guess is because if they were allowed to team up, they would...

I'm getting ahead of myself. So stuff happens, and it turns out that Aced is the traitor, not because he was actually a traitor at the time, but because his mission and Leopard Boy's mission were just stupid enough to make it happen. Because Master of Masters tells Aced, "So, my dude, your mission is to be Ira's second in command." And Aced's like, "What!? He gets to be the leader? Why not meeeeeeee!?" And Master of Masters is like, "Chill out, man, your real mission is to be the leader when everybody else start being all, 'Whoa, this Unicorn man's not really working out as a leader, is he?'" Meanwhile, Leopard Boy (Gula) is given the page of the book (oh right, each of the Foretellers got a copy of the book) that was conveniently left out of everyone else's copy, which is the page that says, "And by the way, one of you is going to turn traitor." (Incidentally, you can probably tell I'm exaggerating the quotes, but the attitude is not even necessarily to the same level as Master of Masters. He's a pretty goofy guy.)

So the whole time they're all, "What? Traitor? Who's the traitor? Why would you suspect anyone?" Gula's all, "Yeeeah, that's...really weird." So the whole time, you suspect it's going to be him, and it's true he has the Lost Page, which is something Ira somehow found out about (I guess he used deductive reasoning--there was other evidence of a traitor, and he was like, "But if there's a traitor, the book should say... Waaaait a minute."), but he thought he was being a good guy and doing what stupid jerkface Master of Masters told him was the right thing to do.

And then there's a big falling out of all the Foretellers, but some of them are still kind of friends maybe? but Gula's going to go activate Kingdom Hearts in an attempt to force Master of Masters to come back, and it's supposed to be taboo, but guess who said it was taboo? That's right, it was the Master of Masters!

So as it turns out, he's been manipulating everybody, and we don't know why! All we know is that there's a sixth apprentice who was tasked with traveling through time and making a record, and the really creepy part is that the record is made with his Keyblade...that has the Master of Master's eye embedded in it. Super gross. (It was pretty funny, though. When Master of Masters told Luxu about the Keyblade, Luxu was all, "!!!" and Master of Masters was like, "You just thought, 'Ew, gross!' didn't you?") So Master of Masters sees everything the Keyblade sees, and that's how he was able to write the book to begin with--by sending the Keyblade through the ages.

But here's the really dramatic part! That Keyblade is the same one used by Xehanort in Birth by Sleep! Dun dun DUN!!!

And that's the story. It's just a bunch of misunderstandings and people trying to do the right thing with bad information, and some pride getting in the way, and oh, little Fox Girl Ava is trying so hard to do the right thing, and she's so cute and so sad.

But the main thing is this Master of Masters character is making me nuts. He's a super fun character and I love that type--I mean, he's kind of like Koto in Noragami, but to the extreme (and in fact, the voice of Koto plays Leopard Boy). But I hate that he's giving his apprentices all this bad information and manipulating them like that, especially because I can see no practical reason for him to do it. So I'm like, "Dude, what gives?" and, "You leave those Foretellers alone! This was a happy place until you showed up!" And I also really wonder why the Foretellers wanted to be his apprentices to begin with. I mean, with a name like Master of Masters, I imagine he has some smarts that would make him seem like a good leader, but...

So it was fun. But a little bit maddening. It makes me that much more eager to see what all goes down in Kingdom Hearts III... It came out in Japan today! but our order from CD Japan has not yet shipped. It's just as well, though. We still have other things to do.

Today I'm thankful for making more progress on work today, getting to watch Kingdom Hearts [chi] Back Cover, not dying from our Strength and Cardio 1 workout, remembering that the Lunar New Year stuff started at California Adventure so we better go check it out, and getting to sleep in tomorrow.
Tags: kingdom hearts chi

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