Alethea & Athena (double_dear) wrote,
Alethea & Athena

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The price of gluttony

Work has made me so tired today, I almost forgot what happened that made it so much more tiring. Probably two things, actually. First, we got the materials for UQ Holder! today, adding one more thing to the three things we were going to need to do ASAP. Here's the breakdown: we were asked to move Hatsu*Haru 3 up on our schedule, and we said we'd get it done by the end of the day. It didn't go as quickly as we'd hoped. Either the first volume was deceptively easy, or the fatigue is getting to us. I'm inclined to think it's the latter, because UQ Holder! wasn't going so well, either.

Anyway, goal number one was to finish Hatsu*Haru. Goal number two was to finish the episode of Devils' Line we started last night after we finished our first draft of Hatsu*Haru. Then UQ Holder! hit, which was sort of earlier than expected because usually it wouldn't come until next week (based on which week of the month we normally get it), but also sort of expected because next week is Golden Week. Fortunately, we don't have to finish it until Tuesday, because we are taking Monday off so hard. Unfortunately, we have enough work due next week that it still meant we needed to work late today. And the heavier our workload gets, the more our motivation decreases. So that already wasn't helping.

And then! came the big news! And overall it's very good news, I think. Noragami is coming back!! It will no longer be on hiatus, so we can finally have more of our beloved Noragami characters!

On the other hand, I have extremely mixed feelings about it, because there are all kinds of weird psychological things going on, mostly involving being extremely tired. In fact, I think right now the strongest emotion I have in regard to Noragami is, "Oh no, not more work." And that's, like, really bad. I love Noragami. It's one of my favoritest things. But I'm sooooooo tired of working all the time that the thought of working on anything just makes me more tired, even something I love as much as Noragami.

And then this mindset goes into a vicious cycle, because now I'm like, "Oh no, I don't like Noragami as much anymore. I'll never like anything again, there is no joy in life, blah blah blah." And it goes into another vicious cycle, because Kodansha USA just announced a bunch more new digital titles, and at least one of them is one that was saw and thought, "Aww, I knew about that and wanted to read it," which makes us wish we could work on all the manga. So on the one hand, we're sad because we want to translate all the manga but they won't let us, but on the other hand we're so exhausted from translating the work we do have that we can't even enjoy our beloved Noragami. (I mean, of course we'll enjoy it, but right now, I'm having a hard time being excited about it.)

And I think part of it has to do with the human desire to feel significant. One of the other grumpy jaded thoughts we have about Noragami coming back is, "Great, more chapters for the pirates to read ahead of us." Not that it's really a race to see who gets to read it first, but people who read the pirated version don't always go on to find the legal version, so they'll never know how brilliant our translations are. And sometimes I will be translating and think, "Oh boy, the fans are gonna be so excited about this!" only to realize that they probably already know. And that shouldn't affect my sense of self worth, and it doesn't really, but it does affect our motivation. It's more of a, "Why am I even doing this then?" (It would seem I've drawn a distinction between "worth" and "significance." Like a twenty dollar bill will always be worth twenty dollars, but it won't be significant unless it's used for something significant.)

Anyway. My brain power is too low already. I shouldn't be trying to philosophize or psychoanalyze. I need to sleep and recharge. At least, I hope I can recharge.

Today I'm thankful for Noragami's return (woohoo...!), finishing that volume of Hatsu*Haru, getting to sleep in tomorrow, having our own personal three-day weekend (but we'll probably do some workreation tomorrow, if not some legitimate work), and Page being willing to hang out with us even though we sing in her face.
Tags: angst, busyness, noragami, workaholism

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